Today I finished reading How to Walk Into a Room: the Art of Knowing When to Stay and When to Walk Away by Emily P. Freeman. The author is not just talking about physical spaces, but uses "room" as a metaphor for relationships, career/work, faith tradition/church, hobbies, clubs/groups, etc.
Change is inevitable in life. Some is forced on us (loss of a job, death of a spouse, global pandemic); some we choose (where to live, where to worship, what organizations to join).
There is a tension between being ready for a new "room" and knowing the right time for a new "room". Both staying and going are acts of faith, courage, and patience. There is a peace from doing the right thing, but that does not mean the change won't be scary or hard. It is too easy to interpret the relief of avoiding a change and staying put with what God wants for us.
Mrs. Freeman uses the acronym PRAY as she advises how to discern whether to stay or whether to walk away.
P Point and call out. Explore your "rooms" and how they make you feel. Do they fit this stage of life?
R Remember your path. Look back before moving forward.
A Acknowledge God's presence. She describes 4 simple types of prayer.
Y Yield to the arrows. Watch out for yellow and red flags as well as green lights.
The tendency is to take the path of least resistance. There might not be one ultimate answer right away but "arrows" of discernment that lead us towards answers.
For pointing and calling she offers 10 questions with sub-questions to ask about a "room". Are there corners you are avoiding? Who or what is affected by your decision or lack of decision? What would be the look on God's face if you changed "rooms"?
The gap between readiness and timeliness shows up as nerves, anticipation, sometimes excitement, other times fear and grief. She points out that all of your being should be engaged in leaving or entering "rooms": mind (thoughts), heart (feelings), and body (actions).
"Through it all, this will remain: the love of God, the friendship of Jesus, the fellowship of the Spirit, and the beauty of who we are becoming." That is a comforting thought.
The main change I have been contemplating is leaving our condo and entering an independent living apartment at our retirement community. One of the reasons we chose a retirement community was because we felt such a move would be beneficial or even necessary at some point.
We have done ourselves a favor by becoming a part of the community early so we won't feel like outsiders. We already know the lay of the land so to speak.
Last year we took the "next right step" by discussing and gathering information about what financials would be involved in a move. I feel we saw an "arrow" this year when apartment occupancy became full necessitating a waiting list which we have joined.
I know one circumstance that would be a green light for us. It is the timing of the move that remains unfocused; but if X happened, it would feel like time to go.
This book does not talk about putting out a "fleece". X is a fleece I lay out before God, but I am sure there are other ways God could nudge us forward.
Mrs. Freeman talks about using "mantras" in the waiting times to make good use of the present. I like this one: "wait well". I have given serious thought to what furniture and household goods would not fit in an apartment (part of getting ready), but now I need to wait well by enjoying my current home.
