Several of the bloggers I read have the habit of choosing a word or phrase for the new year. Gretchen Rubin, Tonia Peckover, Ann Voskamp especially have embraced this idea. A reluctant embracer is Diana Trautwein. I guess I fall more on the Diana side, but I have for a few years tried to think of a word on which to focus for a year.
I actually chose my phrase back at the end of October. Originally, the word generous or the word relinquish came as possibilities. We have spent so much on health care costs in retirement and earned so little on investments that I thought since we now would have reduced costs because of the new Affordable Care Act and our mutual funds are doing better we should look for ways to spend on others and increase their happiness.
I also considered relinquish. Relinquish has kind of a negative tone to it. Giving with regret or under force comes to mind. Then the two ideas sort of blended into “letting go”. Letting go of expectations, letting go of “rights”, letting go of the hope of being pain-free in this mortal body, letting go of accumulated funds by being more generous. Letting go of judgmental thoughts and critical spirit. Letting to of trying to control what happens in my life. Letting go and letting God.
This phrase stood me in good stead as I found I would need surgery and have a long rehab. No, it wasn’t 2014 yet, but this was a good practice of the concept. I had to let go of my cleaning and cooking standards and let my husband do things his way. I couldn’t be hovering over him, especially the first two weeks post-op when I was only to be up and about for bathroom duties. I had to let go of the ability to drive. I had to let go of easily getting about and out.
I learned long ago that living in a place where heavy snow, drifting, even blizzards can change your schedule, you have to let go. I have experienced plenty of that this week. We didn’t go to church because lots of snow was predicted and getting around on a knee walker is hard enough in good conditions let alone in snow drifts. Our church talked about cancelling services but then decided to go ahead; however, by 9 a.m. the snow was falling steadily and did so throughout the day. We also didn’t go out to a restaurant for Sunday dinner. I needed to shift my planned menu some. Monday and half of Tuesday we were snowbound. Our retirement community workers plowed out our driveway about 11:40 a.m. Tuesday, too late for me to make it to my 11:30 haircut appointment. When we woke up Tuesday morning, the pipes to our toilets had frozen. Not real easy to balance a bucket of water to flush while balanced on a knee walker either, but my husband did finally fill the empty toilet tank so I could use the flush handle instead. The toilets finally worked around 5 p.m. My husband had tried a hair dryer throughout the day, but it probably was the fact that the sun finally shone on the west wall that thawed things out.
Then this morning at 8:12 I received an automated call from my foot surgeon’s office; my appointment today was cancelled. Today was my 6-week follow-up and I was to learn if and how to start walking on my foot again. When I called the number given for rescheduling, the lady told me it would be February 3rd before I could see the doctor. No way! I asked about walking on my foot, and she transferred me to a nurse. The nurse managed to schedule an appointment with the Physician’s Assistant for Friday. I had to cancel my physical therapy appointment for Thursday also because without a new order from the doctor the therapist could not show me or try any new therapies.
Lots of letting go this week. I wish I could say I did it all peacefully, but there has definitely been anxiety. Makes me wish I had chosen a different phrase LOL.
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