Downton Abbey (The Movie)

I had an enjoyable visit with the Crawley Family and their staff this afternoon. It was like getting caught up on the lives of friends/acquaintances that you hadn't seen for awhile. If you never viewed the TV series, this movie would probably be incredibly dull and slow-moving. I was surprised the creator of the movie was able to get the gang together again. The soap-opera drama and cliff hangers were missing. For me, the costumes were a key focus.

The plot is shallow (the King and Queen are coming to Downton for one night) though there were some interesting side stories from time to time: a new sparring partner for Violet, a possible love-interest for Branson, another look at the unacceptance of homosexuals.  The balance between personal needs and desires and family/community responsibility served as a theme of sorts. Lots of making things work in relationships (Edith and her husband, Princess Mary, Daisy and Andy).

Mostly there were happy endings. I wished them all well until we meet again (if ever).

Heaven's Gain

We learned today that another brother-in-law in Wisconsin died. He was diagnosed with ALS about 18 months ago. We are at the stage in life when our siblings and their spouses are mostly in their 70s and 80's. One by one, we see God calling them home to be with Him. It is a comfort to know they belonged to God thru faith in Jesus Christ. We are not certain of this for some of their children and grandchildren. The funeral plans are not made yet. 

I attended a ladies' retreat this weekend of women across the span of 20 to 75 years. One of our Friday evening activities was to decorate booklets/journals one of the ladies made for us. She had generously brought all kinds of stickers, paper, colored pens, ribbons, etc. A main emphasis of our talks was to be saturated in the Truth, the Word of God so we can defend against the lies Satan tells us. I decided to turn my booklet into a Scripture repository. I decorated the left-hand side of the open pages with items (stickers, cut-outs) representing topics (beauty, the Names of God, prayer, casting out fear, birds, flowers, light/flame, etc.). On the bottom of that page and on the facing page I plan to write verses down. I only did half the book Friday night, but Saturday afternoon when I was home again I rummaged thru my scrapbooking supplies (which aren't many) and did some more.

I have decided to go thru concordances and other tools and peruse my Bible to find verses I want to have handy to meditate on before finishing out the topics and the decorating. One of my topics is heaven; what joy it will be to remember God's promises about our future abode as I think about our losses. I am excited about this project though I won't really get into it until after this very busy week. 

The above were from the retreat supplies

 

All the Light We Cannot See

I recently finished All the Light We Cannot See  by Anthony Doerr.  I browsed some of the reviews on Amazon because I was curious if readers had the same reaction I had to the last parts of the book.  Mostly they did. I’ll get to that later.


I was a bit surprised how many people negatively commented on the structure of the book. Maybe because I am a fast reader and finished the book in 1 ½ days the author’s practice of moving around back and forth in time rather than a straight timeline wasn’t as confusing as it would be for someone reading the book over many weeks. I was alert to the shifts and kept up. I did feel just as I was getting interested in one child’s story, I was yanked away to the other child. 


It seems to me that those who were most disappointed in the book were unable to see or appreciate how the detailed descriptive narrative underscored the contrasts between light and darkness in human character. The radio broadcasts which tied Werner’s and Marie-Laure’s parallel stories together symbolize more than electronic particles going unseen through the atmosphere.  It is part of the whole motif between light and dark, evil and good.


We have a blind girl who cannot literally see light but is acutely aware of light in the human spirit. The seeing boy through the brainwashing and manipulation of his Nazi trainers loses most of his ability to see the moral light. Or maybe it is fear of the mine pits that keeps him from acknowledging what he knows in his gut is happening. The darkness takes over and clouds his vision of right and wrong. The radio technology he is developing could be used to transmit facts, music, connection like he heard as a child. Instead it is used to hunt down and exterminate Resisters using their own radios.  Werner and his cohort Volkheimer rationalize that it is just math and science they work on, free of morality. They are not the ones who choose how it is to be used; they simply obey their masters. Even when they have seen how the Nazi trainers have created evil at the school through manipulation, they turn away from personal responsibility. Werner’s sister Jutta and fellow student Frederick are blunt reminders there is moral choice. The price may be high, but there are those who do see and follow the light. 


The rich heaping up of details serves not only to help us feel we are part of the scene, but drives home the lesson that people and things both bad and good feed the soul and put us on paths never envisioned.


The parallel stories build up to the meeting of Werner and Marie-Laure in St. Malo. In some ways it seems anticlimactic because although the two realize a deep connection, the encounter is so brief. But it is one of the most important parts of the book. Werner is given the opportunity to confront evil and finally do the right thing. Lightness wins over darkness.


Mr. Doerr would have done well to end the book shortly after Marie-Laure and Werner part ways. The end of Werner’s story is disappointing. The information about Marie-Laure’s post-war life keeps us from wondering what happened to her but could have been handled better. It is flat and uninspiring.


Perhaps the reintroduction of the little carved wooden house is meant to reinforce the redemption of Werner, but is it necessary? In a dull and contrived way it brings Jutta and Volkheimer back into the book; but it raises dangling questions about the diamond that we thought were settled in the grotto. The last portions of the book are flat and so unlike the rest of the work. They detract from the excellent though dark recounting of how war affects two young people on opposing sides, mostly told from their own perspectives.

Pelvic Floor Rehab

The past 5 1/2 months have been discouraging. I haven't felt well but medical appointments stretch out taking weeks between appointments and procedures. 

The end of March I went to an urgent care facility in Warsaw with painful urination and blood in the urine. I assumed I had a urinary tract infection. I have had these occasionally for probably 10 years. This time the gross hematuria appeared as tea-colored urine and the testing showed no infection. I was told I should see a urologist for a cystoscopy to make sure there were no tumors or bladder stones causing my problem. Meanwhile, though most of the pain went away, I felt like I needed to pee all the time; 30 minutes after voiding, I felt like I needed to use the toilet again. 

To shorten a long story, after seeing a gynecologist who checked for prolapsed pelvic organs, I finally saw a urogynecologist in Fort Wayne toward the end of May. Two weeks wait for urodynamics study, 5 weeks wait for the cystoscopy. No advise or suggestions on how to cope except I was given a collection/measurement device and a voiding diary to fill out over a two-week period. Sounds simple, doesn't it? But are you going to haul a large plastic collection container to the grocery store with you? To church? I was to measure all urine voided. 

The good news is that there were no abnormalities inside the bladder. The urodynamic studies showed overactivity. I was prescribed oxybutynin. I took it for 15 days. Horrible stuff! I already had a dry mouth from my allergy medication. This made it worse. I started chewing gum often. Dry eyes were bothersome. I used eyedrops. The constant severe heartburn, even using meds, was the clincher. I discontinued using oxybutynin. I read on the internet that 70% of women who try this drug, stop taking it because of the side effects. We could have tried Vesicare I suppose, but it has similar side effects and is very expensive. Medicare tells doctors to try oxybutynin first as it is cheap. The medicine didn't improve anything for me as far as I could tell. I was still on the lookout for toilets, and leaving the church service to visit the bathroom. 

I was referred to pelvic floor rehab. A specialized physical therapist is part of this urogynecology practice. Of course, I had to wait several weeks for an appointment. At the first appointment, I was told that though there were things to try, Medicare requires 30 days of Kegel exercises before they will pay for these other things. So another month was going to pass. As it was, after 12 days of Kegels my condition worsened. Not only was I having frequent urination, I had intense pelvic pain which kept me awake at night despite taking Aleve, and was unable to get to the bathroom at night without leakage (which was not an issue before). I had been told to phone if there were problems. The therapist was unavailable but my experience was relayed to her. Stop the Kegels. We had made a good faith effort, but I was one of those persons who was not ready for Kegels yet.

This past week I finally returned to Pelvic Floor Rehab. A device was inserted in my vagina. It measured resting muscle tension. Normally, a woman would have 3 or less. I was 4.5. Though my pelvic floor muscles were weak, they were also tense, which is why the Kegels were the wrong exercise to do at this time. I was given a course of pelvic electrical stimulation. There is no medical consensus on how effective this procedure is. Medicare will only pay for it if there is incontinence. Congratulations, I now had that problem due to the Kegels. (Though actually it did clear up after about a week of stopping the Kegels). 

Pain is probably too strong a word to use, but receiving timed electric shocks for 20 minutes certainly is not pleasant. I don't return for 2 weeks. I have some yoga exercises for pelvic girdle to do at home. I have been trying to retrain my bladder to wait longer and longer. I can now wait 2 hours though I do have some discomfort. Both times I visited pelvic floor rehab, they did a post-voiding residual test. I am definitely not emptying out normally. The therapist even used a catheter before the e-stim procedure as the bladder needs to be empty for that.

I am finding out that bowel problems of the past decade are probably related to the pelvic floor tension, also. Intermittent pelvic pain also probably related. Whether my pelvic floor problems can be fixed remains to be seen. 

Most post-menopausal women are aware of prolapsed (sagging) pelvic organ problems. Well, weak pelvic floor muscles cause problems even without prolapse. I have been told that eventually we will try the Kegels again. They are a good maintenance of muscle strength once we get there.

So time drags by. Much of my spring and all of my summer spent in a state of unwellness so to speak.