Educated by Tara Westover

When my husband brought home from the library Educated by Tara Westover I told him I too would like to read it. I had noticed that it stayed on best-seller lists a long time. I only had a vague idea of what it was about. The daughter of an isolated survivalist family who had received no formal education and irregular attempts at home schooling went on to earn university degrees, culminating with a PhD from Cambridge. I thought it would be an uplifting memoir of overcoming challenges. The absence of education was the least of Tara Westover's challenges.

Education can include formal academics, but it also can be a growing personal awareness and acceptance that one's family is not "normal". Though the author states early in the book that her family was different because they did not attend school, its differences went way beyond different to dysfunctional. A father who saw the government as "the enemy", felt schools brainwashed students with values and beliefs of an ungodly culture, relied on herbal and home remedies and prayer for illnesses and injuries rather than the medical profession, and considered himself the absolute authority of the family meant a "different" and difficult environment in which to be raised. Gene saw himself as protecting his 7 children and making provisions for the apocalyptic end of days.

 The family was not isolated from the community. They had interactions (acting in theater plays, working at a grocery store, attending church, the mother serving as a midwife) and they later had television, a phone, a computer with internet access. Their property and house were somewhat remote on the mountainside of Buck's Peak so they could protect themselves and their survival stockpiles when the time arrived, but they were not off the grid. 

 When Tara left her home in pursuit of formal education and at times questioned how she was brought up, her parents eventually passed judgment on her as being insane and or controlled by Satan. They gave her a last chance to turn around before she was ostracized. You can imagine the estrangement after she wrote her book; she was "disloyal" to her family and unfaithful to her religious roots. 

A memoir presents events as one remembers them. Tara in several footnotes and a section at the end of the book points out that when she asked two of her brothers to corroborate events, there were variances with her memories and between the two brothers. 

Memories can be colored by lack of information, lack of maturity to see nuances or context, and strong emotions like fear. Tara had much to fear in her life. She feared the feds would storm her home and kill or imprison family members. This evolved out of her father's perspective on and warning about Ruby Ridge and Randy Weaver. This scenario became a persistent nightmare throughout Tara's teen and early adult nights. 

She feared bodily injury because of the risks her father took in his junkyard (scrapping) and construction work. She witnessed several "accidents" and was herself injured because of unsafe practices as she worked alongside her brothers and father. The family twice was in serious highway accidents on trips to Arizona, etc. They would not report these accidents to authorities even though there were serious injuries because they had no vehicle insurance or registration. One of their values was to be self-sufficient. The mother created essential oils, tinctures, salves, and believed in adjusting the chakra. She suffered a horrific head injury in one car accident but sought no medical help. It took months before she could function normally in her family duties. Some of her children felt she never returned to her previous abilities.

Tara's greatest fear was the actions of her violent abusive brother Shawn. She became one of his victims. Her parents never stepped up to protect her. At one point after she left home she confronted her mother about this. Her mother said she hadn't realized the scope of his actions, even though Tara had broken bones at times. Finally her parents said Tara was just making things up. However, she later learned while writing her book that several of her other siblings had been bullied and victimized. 

Tara had not been taught hygiene and socialization skills to fit into the "gentile" (outside) world. Her first days at Brigham Young University did not go well as she interacted with roommates free of the narrow and restrictive Mormonism her family practiced. They finally told her she needed to meet certain cleanliness standards if she wanted to continue living with them. Some of her classmates and professors tried to help her adjust. Mid-year she faced failure and loss of her scholarship. A friend invited her to study with her, and suddenly the pieces started falling into place. 

When she studied at Cambridge, first under a short-term Rhodes Scholar type of situation, then later for a degree, she received accolades for her insights and intellect. I think she was able to put unique perspective on subjects because she had so little exposure to them when young. She brought a fresh approach. 

The book has such dark undertones of her lack of self-esteem. Her brother called her a whore and slut constantly. Her actualization as an intelligent worthy woman came through much struggle. Once she had forged her own identity, she could not go back to the old Tara to be accepted by her family. She could not envision her role as wife and mother in a subjugating patriarchy. Part of her identity was the peak and countryside of her growing-up years. The pull to return was strong. She did make some attempts to fit back into her family, but her "education" taught her there was no normalcy there. There especially was no safety there as long as Shawn's problems were not addressed. 

I have mixed feelings about recommending this book. I could never really relate to Tara. Her situation had so many extremes. She does write a compelling story. I see since reading it that reviewers sometimes think she made it up because no person or family could live through such horrific experiences. Perhaps her memories are exaggerated, but her brothers back her up on many details, though they have kept ties with the family while she has had to stay away. The book writing may have been cathartic, a step toward healing. It may even have helped her mother's business of selling Essential Oils and products because of the extra attention. The family prospered financially even before the book was published, but the family dynamics appear to have changed very little, except for the pronouncement of damnation on Tara. She feels a great void, but she can never be the submissive "ignorant" daughter she was. She could never return on her parents' terms.