A Little Color

It has been rather gray the past few days, but today we do have sun before our weekend rain and snow arrive. I bought a few tulips at the grocery store Monday to brighten things up.

Yesterday I attended the January Grace Village birthday party. I selected a carnation to bring home as I was one of the honorees.

As I was eating the birthday cake, I realized I only had one earring on. Oh, no! One of my favorite beading creations. I need to remember to wear those little nubs that keep hook earrings from falling out. I retraced my steps but no sighting of the missing jewelry. Then last night as I was undressing in front of my closet, I head a soft plop. There on the floor was the missing earring. I guess it had fallen inside of my clothes. I know I shouldn't be attached to things, but I was feeling kind of low before it reappeared. I was working through an attitude adjustment the rest of the evening reminding myself it was "stuff". Praise the Lord that He even helps us with the little things of life.

Placemaker

I think I first read Christie Purifoy's words on a guest post on Ann Voskamp's blog. Christie was a few months from her book Roots & Sky coming on the market in 2016. I went to her blog and read some posts; but though I enjoyed them, I didn't want to spend $15 on her book. I shared earlier on my blog that I found Roots & Sky at my Goodwill store for seventy-five cents about a year after it was published.

 When Placemaker came out in 2019, I decided I would ask for it as a Christmas gift. I would suggest that you start with the newer book before reading Roots & Sky. Placemaker will fill you in on Christie's history as a married student just starting out setting up housekeeping and the subsequent developments in her life. I think it adds a layer of understanding to what she shares in Roots & Sky. She hasn't posted anything new on her blog in almost a year. She has branched out to podcasting. I find podcasts just too time-consuming and because I can't easily jot down voiced thoughts not as rewarding as reading.

I usually take notes when reading books like these. Christie has a writing style that flows, and I decided to read Placemaker's 200 or so pages uninterrupted. I then read it a second time. I don't mark up books with highlighting or underlining. I record notes in a little notebook. 

I enjoy her writing because she is an astute observer of what happens around her; she is contemplative and the stories she shares from her heart tend to have universal truths that we all can relate to; I like that she sees nature as God's gift.

As a new bride, Christie was interested in new things for her home. As a renter she couldn't change much, and as a student with a husband also a student, she didn't have much money. She would get permission to paint her apartments. Sometimes the landlord or manager would even pay for the paint. 

Once she and her husband graduated, they wanted to leave Texas, her native state, and travel or live elsewhere. She had dreams of exploring places. God led them to Virginia, then Chicago, then to Florida, and finally to southeastern Pennsylvania. She changed the places where she lived, but they also changed her. Instead of new she grew to appreciate the old, and currently lives in an old brick farmhouse called Maplehurst in the Brandywine Valley. 

Placemaker is arranged chronologically by the places she has lived with the chapters themed around trees. She finally discovered that she wanted roots, a place that felt like home (and her ideas about home changed). She wanted to belong someplace. In the end, she realized that her desire was really about heaven, her final place, but that God shapes and molds us through the places here on earth. God wants us to participate in tending and caring for His creation and people here. 

Her old farmhouse reminds her of decay and impermanence. She has to toil and invest money to make it the peaceful place she wants to share with her neighbors and visiting family. 

Christie struggled after leaving Hyde Park in Chicago where she earned her Masters Degree. She was barren and had an overwhelming desire for children. God finally gave her children. So many memories of having and raising children were tied up with this neighborhood. When her husband accepted a transfer to Florida for his job, she expected to be a vital part of a community as she had been in her previous locations. Instead she found a wilderness. She felt aimless. All her attempts to become part of her neighborhood and church and town produced no fruit. She had no more dreams for her life.

 Graciously, God gave her a dream which led her to Pennsylvania. She let go of her dream of teaching in a university but found purpose in writing blog posts and books. 
She says, "We often discover "the right place" only through trial and error, wandering and waiting, following and believing."

There are some interesting tidbits about places (Longwood Gardens), people (Johnny Chapman, the apple tree planter; the Quaker builder of her home; people settling in a "wilderness"), history about different vegetation and trees she has experienced. Restoration and preservation guide her at Maplehurst. She sees how God restores her as well. 

Educated by Tara Westover

When my husband brought home from the library Educated by Tara Westover I told him I too would like to read it. I had noticed that it stayed on best-seller lists a long time. I only had a vague idea of what it was about. The daughter of an isolated survivalist family who had received no formal education and irregular attempts at home schooling went on to earn university degrees, culminating with a PhD from Cambridge. I thought it would be an uplifting memoir of overcoming challenges. The absence of education was the least of Tara Westover's challenges.

Education can include formal academics, but it also can be a growing personal awareness and acceptance that one's family is not "normal". Though the author states early in the book that her family was different because they did not attend school, its differences went way beyond different to dysfunctional. A father who saw the government as "the enemy", felt schools brainwashed students with values and beliefs of an ungodly culture, relied on herbal and home remedies and prayer for illnesses and injuries rather than the medical profession, and considered himself the absolute authority of the family meant a "different" and difficult environment in which to be raised. Gene saw himself as protecting his 7 children and making provisions for the apocalyptic end of days.

 The family was not isolated from the community. They had interactions (acting in theater plays, working at a grocery store, attending church, the mother serving as a midwife) and they later had television, a phone, a computer with internet access. Their property and house were somewhat remote on the mountainside of Buck's Peak so they could protect themselves and their survival stockpiles when the time arrived, but they were not off the grid. 

 When Tara left her home in pursuit of formal education and at times questioned how she was brought up, her parents eventually passed judgment on her as being insane and or controlled by Satan. They gave her a last chance to turn around before she was ostracized. You can imagine the estrangement after she wrote her book; she was "disloyal" to her family and unfaithful to her religious roots. 

A memoir presents events as one remembers them. Tara in several footnotes and a section at the end of the book points out that when she asked two of her brothers to corroborate events, there were variances with her memories and between the two brothers. 

Memories can be colored by lack of information, lack of maturity to see nuances or context, and strong emotions like fear. Tara had much to fear in her life. She feared the feds would storm her home and kill or imprison family members. This evolved out of her father's perspective on and warning about Ruby Ridge and Randy Weaver. This scenario became a persistent nightmare throughout Tara's teen and early adult nights. 

She feared bodily injury because of the risks her father took in his junkyard (scrapping) and construction work. She witnessed several "accidents" and was herself injured because of unsafe practices as she worked alongside her brothers and father. The family twice was in serious highway accidents on trips to Arizona, etc. They would not report these accidents to authorities even though there were serious injuries because they had no vehicle insurance or registration. One of their values was to be self-sufficient. The mother created essential oils, tinctures, salves, and believed in adjusting the chakra. She suffered a horrific head injury in one car accident but sought no medical help. It took months before she could function normally in her family duties. Some of her children felt she never returned to her previous abilities.

Tara's greatest fear was the actions of her violent abusive brother Shawn. She became one of his victims. Her parents never stepped up to protect her. At one point after she left home she confronted her mother about this. Her mother said she hadn't realized the scope of his actions, even though Tara had broken bones at times. Finally her parents said Tara was just making things up. However, she later learned while writing her book that several of her other siblings had been bullied and victimized. 

Tara had not been taught hygiene and socialization skills to fit into the "gentile" (outside) world. Her first days at Brigham Young University did not go well as she interacted with roommates free of the narrow and restrictive Mormonism her family practiced. They finally told her she needed to meet certain cleanliness standards if she wanted to continue living with them. Some of her classmates and professors tried to help her adjust. Mid-year she faced failure and loss of her scholarship. A friend invited her to study with her, and suddenly the pieces started falling into place. 

When she studied at Cambridge, first under a short-term Rhodes Scholar type of situation, then later for a degree, she received accolades for her insights and intellect. I think she was able to put unique perspective on subjects because she had so little exposure to them when young. She brought a fresh approach. 

The book has such dark undertones of her lack of self-esteem. Her brother called her a whore and slut constantly. Her actualization as an intelligent worthy woman came through much struggle. Once she had forged her own identity, she could not go back to the old Tara to be accepted by her family. She could not envision her role as wife and mother in a subjugating patriarchy. Part of her identity was the peak and countryside of her growing-up years. The pull to return was strong. She did make some attempts to fit back into her family, but her "education" taught her there was no normalcy there. There especially was no safety there as long as Shawn's problems were not addressed. 

I have mixed feelings about recommending this book. I could never really relate to Tara. Her situation had so many extremes. She does write a compelling story. I see since reading it that reviewers sometimes think she made it up because no person or family could live through such horrific experiences. Perhaps her memories are exaggerated, but her brothers back her up on many details, though they have kept ties with the family while she has had to stay away. The book writing may have been cathartic, a step toward healing. It may even have helped her mother's business of selling Essential Oils and products because of the extra attention. The family prospered financially even before the book was published, but the family dynamics appear to have changed very little, except for the pronouncement of damnation on Tara. She feels a great void, but she can never be the submissive "ignorant" daughter she was. She could never return on her parents' terms. 

New Things In a New Year

While grocery shopping today I bought Beyond Meat patties. Normally, these would be too pricy, but today they were BOGO (buy one, get one free). I put them in the freezer to try later. We will see how they compare to the Impossible Whopper burger we ate at Burger King. The store also had Beyond Meat sausages.

I changed from traditional Medicare to a Medicare Advantage plan starting this year. I have been reading thru the materials to familiarize myself with the benefits and costs. I do know that my YMCA membership will be free. I paid $34 per month for an individual membership last year. The insurance company and plan are what my husband has been using so I have some feel for the provisions, but this year they added vision (besides an exam) and dental benefits which could save us more money. I do need to get new eyeglasses, and my husband is thinking of getting a dental crown. Not sure how all of these work yet, but the dental coverage includes out-of-network dentists. We have never had dental insurance our entire lives. The OTC catalog ($50 credit each quarter) is now run thru Walmart though not using the store, just a web site. I created an account for that. I shared my new insurance information with my pharmacy, but I had trouble registering for the mail-order site. I got some phone help yesterday, but in the middle of the call, I suddenly was flipped back to the intro/greeting module and had no way to return to the agent helping me.

I still need to use my new camera more to understand what it has to offer. I decided on my last walk, that the strap which I had attached to the left side of the camera would feel more normal on the right. I just changed that. The memory card does fit into the slot on my computer so I no longer have to use a USB cable to upload my pictures from the camera to the computer. I will pick a few "subjects" to photograph in different modes and with different tweaks to see what the variations are and compare. 

I have some books I want to share with you, but the only one I have completed so far is Educated by Tara Westover. Next week my Bible study group starts up again, but no choir for another week. I will have some free time to read. Our winter so far has had a lot of ups and downs. Cold enough for snow a few days, but then warming up to the high 30's, low 40's so rain is expected. Not extremely cold for the most part, except for wind making it feel colder. Even so, it is not comfortable to walk around outside. Sitting in my recliner reading seems the best option.

I finally sorted through my small chest freezer in the garage. I am ashamed to admit I had a few frozen meals dating back to 2017. I had to toss them. I am going to try using some frozen grated zucchini to make bread. The zucchini is from a year and a half ago; I don't think it will affect the bread or us negatively. We will find out on Saturday when I bake the bread. 

Hope you have some positive aspects to explore for your new year.